| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|05:22 pm] |
I feel bad for you lonely losers on Valentines Day. Personally, I have a
brightly colored tissue box stuffed full of Valentines. I'm also in
several, meaningful relationships, as well as a few purely sexual ones; not
to mention one fairly abusive one with the 14 year old runaway chained
up in the basement.
OK, feel bad is probably too strong a term. I could really care less about
you. But my job is spreading joy so that's what I'd like to do.
Valentines Day always reminds me what a stupid place full of suckers the
world really is. I don't understand why they have a holiday dedicated to
love. They should have a holiday dedicated to hate. Hate is so much better
than love. Love is bullshit. Most people go their whole life without being
loved by anyone, and without loving anyone back. But hate is just the
opposite. Everyone is hated, and everyone has tons of people that they
hate.
Everyone is always confused about love. Do I love him? Is it puppy love or
true love? I love you, but I'm just not in love with you. Who do I blame
for this? I blame Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. I think they should be
drawn and quartered in the town square. But then they should sew them back
together but scramble up the parts so they would be these two crazy
patchwork one breasted/half dicked/half pussied Julia Roberts/ Hugh Grant
creatures. That would be awesome. And while they're at it they should hack
up Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. Just hack them up and feed them to the
kids.
But back to the hate. Hate is so beautiful and so pure. There's no
confusion, there's no question. Do I really hate him? Yes, you do. Is it
puppy hate or true hate? It's true, true, deep hate. I hate you, but I'm
not in hate with you? Oh you're in hate with me alright you stupid mother
fucker. If ever something deserved to be celebrated, it's an International
Day of Hate.
I propose Yadsenit N'elav, the anti-Valentine's Day. I think we should
make Nora Jones' birthday, March 30th, an international holiday to celebrate
hate. A day dedicated to telling everyone you hate to fuck off. On
Yadsenit N'elav you do not send people cards. Fuck you Hallmark, you're
not getting a dime.
Do I have to teach you people how to hate? On Yadsenit N'elav you don't
give people anything. Instead, you take something nice from the people you
hate. It doesn't have to be expensive; perhaps you take something of
sentimental value. Is there anything better than seeing someone you hate
unhappy?
What about the flowers and candy you say? Valentine's Day has flowers and
candy. Fine. Go to the yard of someone you hate and dig up all of their
flowers. Happy? Eat a box of expensive chocolates and then stick your
finger down your throat and Mary-Kate that chocolate right back into the
box. Give that to somebody you hate. Pour it out in their car.
The best thing about making a holiday about hate is it's a great way to
avoid getting in trouble for being the miserable cunt you truly are. When
your boss, or your teacher, or the police start to give you problems, you
just tell them, "I'm celebrating my holiday you fuckbag! What are you the
fucking Taliban?" Nobody wants to be compared to the Taliban and they will
let you go on your way.
So go find Cupid and shove his quiver full of arrows up his ass. If you
can't find Cupid, any winged baby will do. Just be sure and go out and
spread the hate. You know you have plenty to go around, so don't be stingy
about it. I leave you with this soon to be traditional Yadsenit N'elav
expression:
A Hate filled Yadsenit N'elav to all of you. You all suck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|02:50 pm] |
yo havent updated in a while, so heres my update
U
P
D
A
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E
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N
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S
S
ok done |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|09:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Chimaira, Pure Hatred | ] |
hmmmmm how can i forget to say that on sat. i bought my ticket to go see slipknot, lamb of GOd, and shadows fall......
so far its officially me and mike coyle goin.
2day sucked.... worked in Vienna VA.... that job is starting to annoy me. ummm im cranky cause i didnt get that much sleep last night because someone made me call them because i was thinking about them, then made me talk to them for like a half an hour.... i bet she subliminally contacted my brain and was like shrek, i dont care that its like 1130 call me anyway....... HARSH... but guess wat, HAH i know ur evil plans, making it so i cant blame u....... shrek knows... o yes he knows.
after work i went to the dentist to have a chopping good time. then went to alex's and ended up chilling with nick.... lol..... oh and NICK SPLIT UP WITH THAT NASTY BULLDIKE CHRISSY, good for him..... im so happy.. i hate fucking chrissy. shes nasty...
2morro is february.... wow.. time is flying by.... a lot of things are happening this month but i cant say a few cause im not quite sure who reads this and who doesnt.... and shrek doesnt wanna ruin any suprises. but one of u annoymonous readers will be cough cough suprised.... woot.....
but n e wayz im gonna catch up on some missed out on sleep...
goodnight bitches...
shrekizzle |
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| hey bitches |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|09:52 pm] |
well after another exciting weekend shrek feels the need to update on his life for all u bitches to see wats cool and wats gay......
gay like TJ making out with walter just so cooley and christine would make out gay.. the kind of gay that when tj and walter were only asked to kiss for 3 seconds and it turned out to be like 10 gay.... *shudders* i mean cooley is hot and all but i wouldnt kiss n e dudes to see 2 chicks make out.
so friday friday friday... hmmm wat the fuck was i doin friday....... it was amandas birthday, she turned 17.. i went to dinner with her and mom.. then i was a total asshole and ate as fast as i could and left. I hurt her feelings.. i didnt mean 2 i was just being conceded and thinking about myself. and now i feel bad. and what was so important that i had to leave like that. sam adams was havin a get 2gether at his house so me roach, alex, walter headed over there. WE GOT STONED AS SHIT..... we smoked so much weeezie focheezie.... wow
then we all passed out... we had the intention of leaving but we started watchin mall rats and next thing i know its morning.
so we spend the day all burnt out
i died my hair, the roots are red... and the top is still black, i think its tight as shit....
so then we go to TJ's and have a big ass party in one of the houses that cooleys mom isnt renting out and get so trashed.. i wrestled with 4 diff. people that got outta hand. and moshed with roach and did all kinds of crazy shit i had a fuckin blast. but now im off 2 bed.
2 bed i said...
love shrek |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|09:43 pm] |
ehh feelin like shit...
think im gettin bronchitus from my daddizzle...
school sucked a major cock.. i hate my drawing class. my original teacher sean left so we have this new guy joe who doesnt seem to know a damn thing about drawing.
didnt go to work today, slept like all day and im still tired.
ummm nothing to really update on. so im just gonna type opium whore a bunch of times.. CAUSE UR ALL OPIUM WHORES
opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore 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opium whore opium whore opium whore opium whore
ok thats opium whore a thousand times so ive said opium whore 1004 times in this thingy
laters
shrek |
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| updation upon emancipation |
[Jan. 23rd, 2005|09:39 pm] |
Yo its been a while since i did the whole update thingy so here it goes..
this week wasnt 2 bad. the work thing wasnt 2 great because of the coldness but it coulda been a lot worse. Tuesday Katie Coyle backed into my car and did like between 15 hundred and 2 thousand dollars worth of damage depending on who does the estimate. so i was royally pissed about that especially since i just got the bitch out of the shop last week from my deer damages
friday went with alex to Tj and Cooley's house and got majorly drunk and stoned. like drunk throwing up drunk on shots of everclear from loosing quarters...
shrek realized that when he gets trashed, he sux at quarters majorly,,, somewhere between playing quarters and passing out, i woke up on the chair in the living room the next mornin.
then it snowed its ass off and i cant even park in my driveway......
sad sad sad sad sad
oh yeah everyone is now an opium whore...
love shrek |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|09:41 pm] |
hmmm weekend recap
thruse night i get a call at midnight thirty from some guy named david judy who wants to fight me because i pissed on his truck... im like umm ok first of all i have never even met u.. blah blah blah.. come to find out he was on speed. i dont even know how he got my number. but n e wayz
friday i was pretty sick, so i went home and took a nap....
woke up then went to sam adams house with roach alex and tony. we all got really high smoking outta sams dads old wooden bong... came home and slept for almost 13 hours *needed that*
sat went to adams party, a bunch of drum point wiggers came over and it started getting outta hand and i ended up getting into a fight with this guy donnie and kicked his ass, so it was all good.. then was really drunk and umm..... well roach alex airen david sam walt and a few others know so i dont need to get into it *shudders*
sunday basically chilled at roaches with david, airen, roach, and alex then got a fucking speeding ticket for doing 49 in a 40 what kind of gay shit is that???? o well
im out bitches
shrek |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2005|05:47 am] |
SLIPKNOT SLIPKNOT SLIPKNOT
is comming in march with lamb of god, and shadows fall, my ass will be there
and u should 2.
Who: Slipknot
With: Lamb of God, Shadows Fall
Where: Patriot Center
How Much: $35.00
Tickets: Ticketmaster
ok done and out this bitch
shrek |
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| its fun i promise. lol... |
[Jan. 7th, 2005|05:47 am] |
Stolen from Rachel who stole it from Steph who stole it from someone else.
* Make a list of 15 statements about yourself.
* 5 of the 15 statements must be LIES.
* Post your list and have people guess which five are lies!
1. I was in the boyscouts when i was in elementary school.
2. Ive had four different surgery's.
3. The first dog i had was named licker.
4. I used to play basketball in middle school
5. My knee is fake
6. My first car was named "White Lightning"
7. I work as a master of the janitorial arts, or a custodian if u want to be a dick about it
8. I saw slipknot 2 different times this summer
9. I sleep with a huge stuffed eyore
10. I recently went to a head shop in baltimore
11. I love it when its raining
12. I used to be a superhero named "incocknito man" where i battled evil villians such as, "kittie" "the brain" "cockmaster flex"
13. I used to be a straight A student
14. I planned on going to college to wrestle before my "accident"
15. I plan on living in the calvert area for the rest of my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|06:31 am] |
Man what happened to that nice weather we were having, i walked outside this morning during break time and it was colder than a monkeys nutsak in antartica....
I hate winter........the only thing good about winter is that its a good time to get ur tattoos cause ur hardly in the sun, and i doubt if ull be swimming unless ur a cracked out crazy mofugger...
************BUY MORE CRACK************
dunno where that came from, but thats my buy more crack banner, and it dont give a fuck... ha stolen like woa, or not....
Work was ok... Just demo'd out all the old copper from the water lines we replaced, which is cool cause its all scrap... and number one copper is going for like ummmmmmmm 95 cents a lb or something gay like that.
im so not liking the working at night thing now.. it just really fux up my days and shit... like friday for instance.. friday i get off, but i have school, so that fux up my entire night... depending on how it goes 2morro night, well 2night now.... i might skip friday because i need a life 2... Moms now always bitching about me never being home..... Ummm i do come home.. my bed is here isnt it???
Plus thats where my masturbating dojo is.. I like to call it the chamber of festivities, lol...... ummm im trying to burn a cd but my gay cd burner isnt working... i guess it just doesnt give a fuck.... well bitches what am i supposed to do about this?????
Im supposedly getting my car back within a 2 week period but im not holding my breath.. I got an appraisal for the dent in the back from when i backed into my bosses mailbox like a month after i first bought the bitch... They said they could fix it for like 550 bux which isnt bad, cause calvert auto said theyd be like 900 bux.. hah fuck that... so im going ahead and getting that fixed 2 while its there... so when i get my baby back it will be as good as new.... wootness... then i can start working on my interior (speakers, subs, cd player, cool lights and shit) then after that, new paintjob.......
im in desparate need of a road trip, i dont care where.. i just want to grab 3 friends and just drive... this summer im already planning 2... I think im gonna head up to new york, u know... never been there and i hear the scenery is great.. or something gay like that... wait, u know what... new york is pretty fucking gay so fuck that shit.. but my kristy lives there so i guess ill go visit her bitch ass coughloveyakriscough...
and of course i need to hit up LV sometime this summer, need to see sean and some other bitches i aint seen in a good while or 2.
I think i need to die my hair also... im thinking purple and green in a chekcerboard format... but ill need someone to do it for me... Maybe roach or airen could do it, who knows..... ummmmmmmmmmm *scratches nuts* oohh god that felt better... better than taffy, and im a man who loves his taffy....
HEY GUESS WAT, ITS FUN I PROMISE <---isnt that the gayest slogan ever
everyone should leave a comment saying "wow kristy what a gay slogan" i need at least 3...
welp bitches im out like a anorexic bitch at a pie eating contest
sHreK |
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| Im not a slave to a god, who doesnt exist |
[Jan. 5th, 2005|05:29 am] |
Well "BITCHES" <--- my word, not kristys
U didnt miss a whole lot in shrek land. Woke up earlier at about 2:30'ish got ready and all.. Went to roaches after he got home from school.. We rocked out for a bit, (drums and vocals) then we went to Solomons Island to pick up roaches check. On the way back Airen called us and bitched about us being in the area and not comming to see her..... BAM ..... The quest begins... we enter the ranch club....
Roach decides to take the way up by logans old house, mistake.... on the gravel road he decides to pull the E-brake while doing 2903857943875 miles an hour, no shit... We go sideways three different times, and he finally gets the car back under control... The funny thing is when we were supposed to be getting scared and fearing for our lives, we were both cracking up... So then BAM we make it to Airens, talk with her for a bit... Her mom and Dom get home, i felt bad because i forgot Doms name, but now i remember : ) coughbecauseroachhadtotellmecough.... so then we bounced outta that bitch, and headed to Kleaduses.... Now i hadnt seen cleadus in like months, and i knew that he knew about what happened homecomming night, so i didnt know if he would be madd at me or not, so i nervously walked in with roach, and got a high five and a hugg,, i was all like *PHEW* we chilled there for a bit, listenend to a funny ass CD, six feet under covering the best of ACDC, it was funny as shit. Though im not quite sure how funny shit is... but it sounded like cannibale corpse covering it.. deep satanic voice and whatnot
so after hanging out with the K-man we head over to Tiffanys to say high, show up give her hugs then leave..... Back to St. Leanord.. We pick up Coyle of mike then head over to Gregs to see what he is up 2. Chill with them for a bit.... Walked outside to smoke a cigg, and who pulls up..... Why its Rahime and Sam... Talked to them for a bit before they had to dip back out. Then me and roach left mike at gregs and went back to his house to devour some home made Papa Roach (Roaches dad, its what i call him. you should call him that 2, its fun i promise, lol) Chille mmm mmm... Cept it gave me horrible nausiating gass all night long... WEnt to work, came home and now im typing this horribly long gay ass entry.... Well bitches that was my day/night...
love ya kristy and airen 2...
nighty night
Shrekenstien |
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[Jan. 4th, 2005|05:50 am] |
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| | Manson, this is the new shit | ] |
Well its about six o'clock in the morning, and i am getting ready to go to bed. But before i do that crazy shit id figure id do one of these new cool update thingamoboberz...
Work sucked 2night. i left my phone in my car while i was working, so i didnt get to talk to my Kris. Sorry PT.. Anywayz i fuking hung over 250 feet of 1 1/2" L copper bymyself, then soddered it all together. Man CRW got their eight hours out of me 2night. I dont think i have ever worked that hard in one eight hour spread.. I am like fucking dead... Supposedly a rumor is going around that i will be working the night shift until almost the end of February, which is uber gay..... I think i go back to school on thurseday, or friday im not quite sure which, ill call jimmy's bitch ass 2morro and see.
I talked to Nathan 2night.. He deployed to somewhere overseas this morning at 2' oclock so he is probably still on an airplane... I have known and talked to nate almost 3 years now.. And i have never heard nervousness or scaredness comming from the tone of his voice as i heard 2night.. Im not quite sure what he is doing overseas, because there was only so much he could tell me w/o him getting into trouble. but i do know that he is an infantry army ranger, so adding 2 and 2 together in my head, i conclude that he is going to fight some bitches and hopefully kill them before he is killed.. He will only be gone 3-4 months he told me, so hopefully everything will be alright.. He gets out of the army next winter/springish, which is cool cause he is moving back here.. joining the union his dad is in, then we are moving in 2gether.....
Ill be leaving my house by July or August, i figure ill have enuf saved by then... Im not quite sure where i want to go, somewhere closer to DC so i dont have to drive as far when i have to work,,, but other than that i dont want to abondon my friends either....... But other than that.... I also have a chance at moving back to Kansas with Sean.... EEHHHHHH decisions decisions... I guess it all depends on what happens with in the next few months that decides my fate of location i must say..... Please try to stay with me im tired as balls and what i am saying might not be making any sense to you,, but its sorta making sense to me so im gonna just go with it....
I miss the old life i used to have, ive been thinking a lot about the summer 3 years ago before i moved to this horrible dump calvert county.... That summer was probably the best time of my life.. I miss Kimmah, Steffi, Rachel, Sean, Will, Kurt, not wyatt (hah steff), umm the dude that looked like a chick who was liquid spyders friend - i forget his name - and chris...
ahh good times,,, i did so much that summer.. man i need to get a hold of all those bitches and be like, "yo we gonna have us a summer reunion tour bitches, AND THE GUY WAS 2 BRITISH YO"
i also gotta find some black guys to hit on steffi, cause it wouldnt be a great time unless some thugs were commenting on steffi's junk in her trunk...
Man i also cant wait until April, because Mindless Self Indulgence is Commin to this Bitch and i intend on seeing Jimmy Urines crazy ass because i havent seen them in almost a year,,,, *GASP* i think its actually been over a year now... GOD what the hell is wrong with me..
Well im tired as shit so im leaving this bitch,,,,, Shreks love goes out to, Kristy, Airen, Steffi, Nipple, and anyelse who reads this bitch
Jason |
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[Jan. 2nd, 2005|03:39 pm] |
Well lets see, once i left my house last night i went and picked up my Airen.. then we went to tony's and hung out with him vinny and roach for a bit.. we left tony's at about 11. then went and dropped roaches car off at his house and we all left to go cruise the island and eventually make it to the ranch club...
God i hadnt been in the ranch club in so long i almost forgot my way around the bitch, but luckily i have a memory like an ox, or a shrek..
but nothing amazing happened... now im back home and i gotta work 2night : ( but its all good cause most of u bitches go back to school 2morro....
lata
shrek |
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| Life is like a penis though most people dont know it but most ppl suck so they usually blow it...... |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|06:49 pm] |
Well goodevening ladies and bitches,
How was all yallz new yearz.... Mine was fucking great... except for the part where i got *****************EDITED FOR MINORS****************** then the midgets all took their pants and ***************DIDDO************. Phew good times.. and get this i get drunk as shit and probably as high as ive ever been.... go to bed at like 6 in the morn. wake up at 10 a.m to throw up. i dont get it lol...... so then after chucking i go back to bed till about umm 1'ish. then we all decided to get up after a lil wake n bake...
Watched some family guy.. i swear over the last three days i have quoted this at least 239857 times..
" Wait louis, a boats a boat.. But the mystry box could be anything. It could even be a boat! and you know how much we've wanted one of those... Lets take the mystry box."
yeah, that will prob only make sense to a handful of you out there in computer land bitches. ummmmmmmmm really dont have much else to update on.. so im gonna go clean up and leave again bitches... ill probably clean my room a lil before i go 2.. so i dont have to worry about it later.... :p .......
shrekizzla |
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[Dec. 31st, 2004|10:53 am] |
Well umm life kinda sux until feb. 23rd...... but enough of that because for thoze of u who know, EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT, and for those of you who dont know... ur not cool enuf 2 so get over it..
Happy pre 2005 or some shit like that.... Im goin to a party tonight and getting somewhat trashed, and its cool caluse i dont have to drive or anything
umm thats about it
later
shrek
i hope . . . |
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[Dec. 31st, 2004|10:53 am] |
Leave a comment and...
1. I will tell you what song reminds me of you.
2. I will tell you what celebrity/public/fictional person you remind me of, either personality-wise or looks-wise.
3. I will give you one word that I associate with you when I think of you.
4. I will tell you what colors I associate with you.
Then steal this for your journal and make someone else's day as well. |
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| *burp* amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it? |
[Dec. 28th, 2004|12:50 pm] |
woot im home and its only 1230 woot bitches yeah u like that shit dont u...
umm so wats been going on with me lately????
well yesturday was roachkins birthday big shout out to him, i hung out with him and alex and alex and coyle and airen and vito and i think thats it...
wowzers umm lifes been pretty good to me lately, cant complain... except for the fact that m;y spiderman 2 dvd does not work which really upsets me... like WOA....
umm i gotta work tomorrow day then tomorrow night which sux some big donkey cock but its cool cause i get thurseday off,, meaning wootness a fucking 4 day weekend..
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm work is ok, i gotta go back to school next thurseday i think. so boooh to that bitchnezs... i cant wait till new yearzz eve.. man i want to just have fun.
other than that im gonna sign off this bitch, bitches....
your lord and master
SHREKIZZLA like SIZZLA
i love u PT |
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| and the weekend is over |
[Dec. 26th, 2004|08:18 pm] |
So a quick recap, umm christmas was ok, went to catrina and eddies for x-mas dinner then went to roaches after dinner and hung out with him and crashed.
of course we didnt smoke any reefer or anything
we went to the mall today, we being, Roach Airen and mytself it was pretty coolz yo.. i bought marlin mansons remix cd and a volcom green jacket that is more than pimptightness yo..
thats about it im glad im back into hanging out with all my old peeps...
shrek |
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| and merry fucking christmassss toooooooo yyooouuuuuu |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|12:02 pm] |
well lets start with the other day....
my immediate family celebrated christmas on wed.. which was ok.. i soon got over my postparden depression by going over to roaches and getting stoned,,, woohooo.. plus i got to see my airen and it has been forever and a year since ive seen her.. Tony and alex were there too so it was all gravy...
so in light of keeping old traditions we smoked to big money hustlas a fucking great movie that sux if u watch it with me and roach because we have the whole fucking thing memorized..
Thurs. went to court in westminster which wasnt 2 bad, i got off with a PBJ (probation before judgement) so it was all good no points and a 98 dollar fine.. ummm that night i hung out with my cousin grizzly and got all kinds of fucked up. which is most very excellent. x-mas eve was a pain in the ass,,, all the dicarlos together in the same house,,, SIKE it sucked. man talk about loudness over and over again until your eardrums burst from annoyances.. and pretending to be excited when u open a can of wal mart brand shaving cream... oh god grandpa this is exactly what ive always wanted shaving cream used razors and socks that dont fit....
so yeah i woke up early to come back home, and now i guess im waiting for the other grandparents to get here so we can do the other gay christmas thingy but watever im just gonna try and get thru this day so i can stay alive for antoher
peace and chicken grease
Shrek
man my rooms gettin dirty |
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